La Mort D'Azula
by Caladbolg777
Summary: This is a summary, of what, I don't know, does it matter? No silly of course not, nothing matters anymore. I am Azula, although what good are names...identity...I must find Ty Lee. Everything must die - I see two figures ahead, two Earth girls, they must
1. One

Woods…trees…I am in a forest. Woodlands…a creek nearby. I hear it - do I see it? Do I see anything anymore? Perhaps not. That's okay. I sigh…and I shall sigh again. I enjoy declaring sighs or actions as I am about to do them, I feel as if I am a character, a one dimensional being, scripted to one set of devices, one set of motion, one fate, no deviations from the path, I like to call it enlightenment.

I check my pockets, I do not have pockets but I check just as well…If possible I would keep an inventory of all things on my person, it is a wonderful tradition amongst traditional crazy people, I am not crazy, simply misguided. No one person is truly crazy in my opinion. Subjective.

I see a creek now, and I limp to it to wash my dirty face. I scrub my face but the dirt remains, I try again, perhaps the water is dirty, or it has sinned and Agni incarnate, whoever that is or whoever Agni chose as an Avatar of him or herself, I like to think of Agni as a woman, it seems women much of the power in my experiences. Oh well I say to myself, I do not let my dirty face bother me, it is livable, I am not concerned, I should not be concerned with that, instead I must acquire bearings, I had been running quite a long time, I do not think I am in the Fire Nation anymore, all the better I say to myself.

I do a quick stance, check my firebending, I am decent at it, weaker, much weaker than before, I am a little concerned but again not by much, I am confident I will regain my losses, I will walk again, it is just a small wound, a fracture I believe. All will heal in due time. Then I will die, heal even more, live and become hurt, endangered, die again, bliss, live, pain, die…

I hear a rustling in the leaves beside me, I pause, not at all concerned with what lurks in this forest, it is nearing night, yet I am still fine, I am happy almost, something akin to contentment, I wonder what caused me such joy, did my brother die in a horrible, or perhaps pleasurable, fire bending accident? Did the Fire Nation overthrow his pathetic, black koala-sheep quality, hide? I frown, not because I dislike Zuko - maybe that is the wrong word, such trivial things words are - action is superior. Action suppresses, mystifies, overthrows, and kills words, that is my language or so people tell me…the last time I people have talked to me…six months ago? A year ago? Two weeks ago? I check my pockets and find a small piece of parchment, neatly folded in fours, no fraying around the edges, pristine, like my mind. I unfold the parchment, and I nod…yes, I have lacked human communication - that is to say no one has talked to me, I have not seen nor heard anyone, and I have not spoken to any person in thirty three consecutive days - my coronation day.

No one spoke to me but does not mean I heard nothing, the bars talked to me, they told me to leave. I thought I would pay a visit to my family, no family - I have no family - love was a strategy that I incorporated full-well onto Zuko and my mother, and I won in the end. My mother was banished, saw the real me, but all is well because she is most likely dead. Zuko…

A limping figure walks before me, startled at my countenance, a calm spirit in the middle of the forest, meditating while traveling. This person was old, gray in the face, a man perhaps. I am unsure. This person could be a woman with a very mannish face. No matter, for the sake of purposes I know not, I shall call this person a man and refer to him as a man - like I had just done.

He was slight, small, indeed old, wearing next to nothing. He seemed to be a guru of sorts but I sincerely doubt such people exist anymore. Gurus were associated with the Air Nomads, the Air Nomads are extinct therefore Gurus are extinct - it's a simple cycle. They are not truly extinct, they live in the spirit world, like everyone else, the true harmonizing factor - it'll be nice to escape the suffering and pray that I'll never be born again. Perhaps Agni would listen if I prayed to her very hard during the next solstice, provided that I would pray for anything. I have enough sense to know that praying accomplishes nothing but a false sense of security. It's just as some person very deep in the Fire Nation ancestry once said, nothing can truly be derived from the teachings.

I look around me…woods…marvelous - moving on, the man says something, I do not care. I barely listen. I hear Omashu, cabbages or was it pears, and so on…useless babble, I should kill this man. The idea sounds wonderful but that would give my moronic brother all the more reason to find

Darkness

White…a slow, fade into vision. I blink. My vision is fuzzy still. I look around, forest, figures - I tell myself. Against a tree I see a corpse, bloodied, its face a seared pulp, a hole in its chest, burnt flesh fills my nostrils, it intoxicates me. I ponder why as I move on. I honestly am not to blame for the thing's death, it was dead when I arrived.

Actually I am a little shocked at the grisly scene as I take one last fleeting glance in the distance, I suspected that this murder was intentional but I wonder who in the right, or wrong, mind would have the malice to kill so coldly. I find myself hard-pressed to think of any individual, I even analyze myself, my own intentions, the girl at age fourteen who conquered the most powerful Earth Kingdom city without taking a life. I am proud of that accomplishment, no senseless death, although I am beginning to wonder if death is senseless or a salvation.

It is night now, I remember day the last time I truly thought. I believe that was before my failed coronation. Then how, you may ask I am relating this information to you? Let us not go there yet, there is no sense in talking or writing about excessive details. Gratuitous details - there is no need for detail, gray area, life is simple, people love or hate you, how good of a person you are depends on your love/hate ratio. If the major percentage of the world hates you more than it loves you, then you are loved. If the majority of the world loves you more than hates you, I foresee much suffering for your ignorant self in the future. What a fool you are…

Speaking of fools, perhaps I should visit my friend Ty Lee, a spirit of someone, perhaps my grandfather, or Sozin, a previous Avatar, the identity is irrelevant because the spirit was nothing more than a messenger. They relayed a message from the Great One, do not ask trivial questions like who is the Great One, a passion for learning makes you nothing but a moron. Feigned ignorance is always much more appropriate - if your master is a fraud, idiot, or a misguided jerk, you can differentiate and destroy the monstrosity.

Ty Lee plays this card well, perhaps that is why I must find her, to realign myself with the art of deception. I must gather my bearings. My bearings have been gathered. According to the moss on this tree here, burnt, invisible only to the keenest eyes in the midnight sky, I declare I am in the southern Earth Kingdom, near the village E Chung, near Gaoling, close to Kyoshi Island…land of ditzy acrobatic traitors. No not traitor, traitor constitutes I had placed trust within her, for me to have been betrayed means I would have trusted Ty Lee, since this is impossible because trust is for fools and animals - subclasses of humanity - I am pardoned from such accusations of trusting others. There is no trust, there is no love. It is as simple as that. You may argue all you wish, whoever you are, but I have seen the light. Let me ask you, I say let me ask you, where does your precious love and trust go when you are dead?

One of our more brilliant Fire Nation scientists stated that matter and energy are never increased or decreased, just transferred. This is a true statement, and if this is true then where does your trust go when you die?

Unless you were to raise from the dead, love is not kept inside your decomposing storage tank, it is transferred into what? Nothingness? Perhaps, I am unsure. I would be happy to tell you when I have died.

How did I end up here. I cannot remember for the life of me. I remember prison or what I believed was prison, there were bars. I know this because they spoke to me often; they were nice, helpful, comforting, I had not much else. It's strange, I say, I almost miss the bars, the company I kept…Ouch, my leg pains me. I need crutches.

A voice. They muttered something intelligible, I think they said hello, I am not sure nor do I care. Human contact is like a plague, no, humanity is a plague, am I a plague, if I am human then I am a plague as well, in which I would do as plagues do, cause widespread sickness, I live off of other people's pain and I suck it up, absorb it if you will, until the person dies and I move on…Am I a friendly plague granting people early bird specials in regards to death?

I look to the sky, the cold, gray sky, colder than this forest. It is nearing morning I think, the sky is not black anymore, it is lightening. No birds. No sky. Nothing but clouds. Ah, ignorant bliss.

I listen for animals, nothing, good. I walk…am I walking? Yes. I am walking. Okay. Good. I am walking…no, I walk - to where? Kyoshi Island? I believe I heard that is where Ty Lee is residing currently, I wonder where M…yes, no, I don't know, SHE! _TRAITOR!!_

I scream.

Pain encompasses my vision, my hearing, I am blinded, deaf, mute, I feel nothing but pain. I am ecstatic. Am I suicidal…no, no, what is wrong with you? I am not suicidal. I feel pain, I love it because I feel. No matter how you deal with it, or him, or her, does pain have a gender? Why not? Either way - Pain just is.

I hear a voice again, female, distinctly female, young, like my voice to a certain extent, although I always did sound older, more mature as Zhao would say - this voice was more innocent, carefree, scared…or at least concerned. The voice said, hello, is anyone there?

A brushing of the leaves near me causes me to scream again. Human contact!

The girl sees me, and she is frightened, I can tell, she nearly screams as well. Good. She should be scared, if not of me with my sickly skin, oily hair, tattered red prison shirt, breeches, and slippers, my degrading limp - how I wish I had crutches! - my thin frame, she should be scared if not of me than something in general. It keeps people balanced, knowing something higher, more dangerous, deadly, and intimidating will cause them great pain if the person does not stay aligned to whatever it is the intimidating figures wants.

This girl…blue eyes, brown hair, short brown hair, lean, highly toned in muscle, ah perhaps it was my once favorite prisoner - such irony! Alas it is not her. This one has a long ponytail…no, there are two girls here. One in the distance, another in front of me. Lovely.

This girl's hair is shorter, brown, she is wearing a green set of Earth clothes, a peasant I assume, her skin is darker than many Earth kingdom people. She smiles and says, are you okay?

What kind of stupid question is that, I wonder to myself, of course I am not okay. I'm not okay, you're not okay, everyone is not okay! Except perhaps my father, no, he is weak now that he has lost his will to manipulate fire.

This girl looks behind her, sees the other coming towards us, looks at me again, smiles, My name is Jin. That's my friend Song behind us. We are traveling together. What is your name?

What good is a name if we are all going to die, I state. She blinks, What do you mean, she asks.

I repeat, What is the point in a name when our entire identity is to live to die? If we will die in the end, there is no sense in identification, confirmation, definition, no no. It is moot. If people live the life of pained asceticism then people will try their best to hurt and kill themselves to achieve a better life before they are reborn. This is the philosophy of the spirits above.

This girl Jin, why I call her by name is beyond me, looks to her friend and they both shrug their shoulders. Jin looks at me, Whatever you say…um, do you want some help? You have a hurt leg…

Please, the other girl says, I am a nurse. You have a fractured leg. I can help you set it in place and heal it. We our on our way to the town of Gaoling, and there is a great hospital ward there that we can take you to - it's not far from here at all.

I despise their innocence, I wish I could snuff it out. They are completely ignorant that life is suffering and it is suffering in cycles. But, seeing as how they wish to heal my leg, something that will be nice so that when I do die my body will be intact and not a decrepit mess. They also mention something about an Earth Rumble tournament, that sounds interesting to me. Perhaps someone will die there.

We walk, I limp, they walk, Song hands me a walking stick with a smile. I accept it with something akin to a sneer or hatred. She does not notice. She feels good, perhaps she sees gratitude in my expression when in fact I am far from gratitude.

Jin looks at me with a curious stare, and perhaps, yes, no, maybe not, I think I see longing, but I am not sure. It is completely trivial, mindless, moot, love is mindless, infatuation is mindless, sex is mindless - there is no love left in this world and I would not have it any other way. Perhaps humans can attain the highest sense of happiness, and we will stop or stall reproduction.

I see, in the near future that reproduction will be limited to one child, dead or alive, per person and family. In this way population will never become a problem. Perhaps the governments can even encourage homosexuality instead of heterosexuality as the dominant class of citizenship. Yes, that would solve the issue of reproduction and keep humans alive long enough to realize that we are meant to die off and become extinct at some point in the near future. Perhaps I should start practicing my homosexuality for I know I am heterosexual. I look at Jin, perhaps she is straight, or something in between, or what, I could care less. I need to manipulate again, I miss it. It was one of the great earthly pleasures I had in my life.

I look at Jin with an intrigued glance, perhaps she will read this as me checking her out for she is a very attractive young woman. Perhaps she is a year or so older than I, maybe my brother's age. That reference is a bit troublesome though, for I have nearly forgotten what my brother, uncle, mother, and even my father look like. It is of no concern. They were, and are, never, and not, my family in the first place.

That was confusing, I apologize - what I mean to say is that there is no love lost, there is no love that is to say in general, between them and I. Why am I going to see Ty Lee again? Is she a friend…no that's right. Her innocence must die. She must die. She will thank me for it later.

Along with…SHE! TRAITOR!! She must die as well. Not as a gift but because she must rot in the Not-Life.

Jin asks me where I am going. I say nowhere in particular, I am looking for someone but I do not know where to find them.

Jin nods, okay, um…what happened to you?

I give her a look, what did happen to me I ponder, I do not remember. I remember those nice bars talking to me, giving me advice, darkness, and then my gate was open. I remember walking out, strangely enough all of the guards were murdered, some burnt, some impaled, some necks snapped, I was very nonchalant despite the overwhelming wave of death - perhaps because I know I had nothing to do with the grisly scene.

Jin looks a little confused, um…hello? Do you know what happened?

Then I remember walking, or limping I should say, through this forest, with that mission given from the spirits to find Ty Lee. Maybe the spirits caused the outbreak…I blink at Jin, I am being rude, at least I think I am, either way I falsely apologize with a pseudo-pleasantry and respond with: I do not know. I cannot remember right now.

I am surprised, mildly, but still surprised for I had told the truth just now without any motivation, thought process and such…mindless…fascinating.

Song remains passive as we walk closer and closer to the edge of the forest and this worries me. I can tell we are nearing the edge by the geometric angle of the sun in accordance with the threes, their scarcity, the sun's brightness, smoke in the distance, and the fact that I see town directly in front of me as well.

The city is…I have never been to this city before, I cannot accurately describe this city for my vision is fading from colors to blurred grays, not to worry though; my vision does this every now and then. The sky was gray with an onset of heavy rain to come in the next few days, and below the sky on the ground I see grayish green and grayish brown one story buildings, several, marked by several streets and several bazaars and markets. In the distance I see ornately decorated barriers, walls to the grounds of a mansion, the city is known for its nobility after all.

Song pipes up, we should head to the Bei Fong Estate, that is where most of the doctors are right now. I say nothing, my eyes upon her, and my suspicions rising…

How come? Jin responds.

Mr. Bei Fong is actually paying the top Earth Kingdom doctors and nurses to figure out a way to cure his daughter's blindness. He's even gone so far as to build a small hospital near the main home.

He has a daughter?

It is news to me too. Meaningless news but news nonetheless.

However I am very uneasy at the moment. I distinctly remember a blind earth bender, quite powerful but a horrible lie detector, with the last name of Bei Fong, my suspicions of Song grow even more…what could she be planning I ask myself. I see resentment in her eyes, it is subtle, but present. I am sure both of these girls know I am Fire Nation, but the resentment seems to have gone further with Song than it has with Jin…I must correct myself, Jin has no qualms with my national identity and I would venture to say it intrigues her. I cannot help but feel she has a small connection to me in some way I will never know unless I ask.

I nod to Song and Jin, preparing myself for a fight in case that blasted personification of a badger-mole senses my presence. The last thing I need is a fight and/or trauma, I tell myself. I tell myself a lot of things, and the majority of these have been as of late…almost as if I must consistently remind myself of things in case I truly forget. HA! What a farce. Of course I can never forget something, that is how the mind works…I must work on establishing a connection in my mind where I remember everything consciously and nothing slips by, but unfortunately that would constitute I can never shut up. I want to stop talking…

Can I stop talking? Let me try…silence…silence…silence…shoot! Blast it! Of all the…NO! WHY?? I tried, but why? Why can I not stop? I am ready to rip my hair out of my skull, or to sear my skin…I can still firebend effectively as to where I could…let us not think of that yet. That would be a splendid trick if Song gets uppity. Please do not worry. I am calm. If you are calm then I am calm, and if I am calm then you are calm. I am calm.

Perhaps I should…tell I mention I am calm? Yes? Don't look at me like that…that is not nice. Did your mother not teach you manners? Who are you? Do I know you? It is not like this matters, if you wish to watch my life pass like a voyeur please feel free to do so, I am not stopping you. In fact I encourage it. Maybe someone will believe I am sane, or misunderstand, or insane and misunderstood, anything so long as I can be quantified or identified. After all is this not what all people want? Some form of identity…no, there is a word I am looking for, a word that specifically describes my state of being at this moment.

What is the point of that anyway, I daresay. I do not mean to sound like one of those pathetic, pessimist losers who hold everything negatively because they know they will die, even though they have another forty plus years to live granted they do not commit suicide prior. I can be a positive person sometimes, or if I am not positive I can seem and appear to be positive - that is just as good.

Song points to the large walls in front of us. The white walls imposed upon me personally. I wanted to shout insults back at them, haughty jerks, but I keep my mouth shut. Song says we are almost there.

Jin asks if I am hungry. I shake my head. I do not want to impose. I find it hilarious that even in my slightly more deranged state, my more aware state, I still hold some mannerisms of my past life. I am still attached to this world when in fact no one is attached nor detached - what am I saying? I do not know. I am confused. I apologize for that my reader. To think the once great, still great, more delusional but still great, Princess Azula confused herself. It is laughable. AH-HAHAHAHA!!

Jin and Song give me weird looks. I realize now I have laughed spontaneously and for no discernable reason. I apologize to them quickly with something akin to embarrassment.

Quickly to my left I see two men holding hands and I shudder. I shudder not because two men are holding hands and looking at each quite happily, no, I fear that time has come. This time I am referring to is when our world and sense of order will come to an end and the four nations, excuse me three, will turn inward. Inwards to prevent overpopulation, to prevent unwanted growth - encouragement of homosexuality and frowning upon heterosexuality. A time where phases of life will begin where each phase depends on levels of crackdown upon basic freedoms and very silly and nutty things will explode into popularity such as religion and cannibalism.

I cannot wait but wish this time will never come. I want it to occur because I am sure my brother and the Avatar, may he rest in peace hopefully soon, will go crazy trying to set things straight. I do not wish for this time to come because I simply will become the inferior amongst a land of preachy, happy-go-lucky, human eating monsters. That would not be a fun place to be.

Perhaps it is worth it though. In that world I can exploit through false-homosexuality, destroy people's lives no matter what gender because hetero or homo is both generally acceptable although hetero is more second-class, and this gives me a much larger pool of incompetent koala-sheep I can bend to my will.

Although at the same time…This is a very nice home for an Earth Kingdom home. This family has taste. Song and Jin have led me through the courtyard and into the home of the Bei Fong estate. I am still breathing and staring down Lao Bei Fong and his puppet-like wife Poppy right now and I am still breathing - perhaps the earth bending girl, Toph I believe her name was or is, preferably was, is not here.

This is splendid news. This means I will probably survive this encounter and be able to live a more full life of manipulation, that is until some force of nature such as the Avatar or my moronic brother step in and ruin my fun - destroy my purpose in this poor excuse for a world. My mind is gray, I wonder if the sky is still gray, it would make sense. Even though I have been chatting endlessly I believe only an hour of time has passed. How fascinating the copious amounts of proverbial manure the mind can spit out, disgustedly and with a horrible aftertaste, in the span of minutes and hours. Seconds even.

I like to think my mind can spit out extra stinky stuff, who knows, maybe I am lying to myself - seeing things I do not see, killing things I did not kill…

Lao Bei Fong mutter some incoherent nonsense about filthy Fire Nation people in his home, I wonder if he would like this filthy Fire Nation person to burn his house…how did I hear what he said? No matter, no matter.

The point is that this man is talking and that must be fixed. The best thing humans can ever give to this world is silence, including me. But seeing as how that will never happen because my tortured, senseless babble will never cease, you will not have any certainty about Azula the person, Azula the mind, the narrative, did I mean narrative? Am I writing this for enjoyment? Entertainment? Perhaps so, perhaps not. If someone detaches themselves of earthly things then they will never be sad, but they will never be happy either. People want happiness. How can you be happy if you shut yourself away in some tight box where your false sense of security whispers lies to you that you are indestructible, indefatigable, no one can hurt you and so on? I am looking right at you ascetic people and religious people.

I mentally point my finger: you people get your acts together and understand that life is suffering and the best way to enjoy it is to make the best use of life and end it quickly while you are on that high. At least you will be smiling as your identity disappears.

Lao points to his left and mutters something I care not to repeat simply because I am in a very bored mood today and I do not wish to repeat unnecessary rhetoric. In other words, I'm not telling because I say so…

Fine, so pushy…he says that to our right, down the hall and across from the rock garden is the newly constructed hospital ward where I can find treatment for my annoying leg, Song can find work, and Jin can go jump off a cliff for all I care.

I look at her slightly wrinkled, Jin that is, not Song, Song is probably a cheap courtesan, a floozy, yes, floozy, I like that word, it is an amusing one: perhaps Katara that badger-mole faced waterbending tart is a floozy. It would make sense and sounds incredibly reasonable.

Be careful Azula, my father would say to me, be careful around little brown girls - they are floozies and tricksters. They can never be trusted. This is provided that my father is stupid enough to believe that anything can be trusted. I never really listened to that particular line of advice because I believed that all brown girls, light girls, girls, boys, men, codgers, everyone, simply do not matter and they have no actual need for existence. Some people want to exist although I could never imagine why they would want to, I mean…never mind. I don't think you would understand, if you do then pat yourself on the back because I am not going to mention what you understand…I have other matters to deal with like how and why, well, not why, every single person, patient, doctor, and nurse gives me a startled look as I walk into the hospital room.

Please let me know if you hate being trapped with words. I am taking a poll you see, and I will soon be conducting a research project on how useful and/or unnecessary words are in life. Also, if were trapped in that line of logic I presented to you, good, you're an idiot and I wanted to thank you for giving me the small boost in ego. Your embarrassment by my hands is much appreciated.


	2. Two

People are shouting at me to leave. Jin and Song give me somewhat startled looks. Song looks unsure, as does Jin, then…Hold on, Song says, she may have done horrible things in the past but she is still a person and we are respectable people here, and respectable people help whoever is in need. Whether they're a friend or foe should be irrelevant!

I say irrelevant by the way. Song says: it doesn't matter. How uncultured. Irrelevant is a much nicer word. It is more euphemistic and more condescending at the same time - it is the perfect balance.

Jin stands behind Song's disposition like the unthinking koala-sheep she is, and yet I would not like this girl in any other way. She is perfect, I tell myself, perfect for manipulation, I doubt she will ever question me. If I were actually homosexual I would classify Jin as one of the many dumb but very sexy people in the world. Since I am heterosexual I believe she is dumb but sexy - I am just not attracted to her in that way.

Song smiles gratefully at Jin and I nearly want o laugh at the hilarity of this scene. I do not seeing as how I would effectively crumble their credibility on the spot and in front of an already agitated group of individuals. Although incredibly enticing, I regretfully tell myself public humiliation will have to be saved for another day.

I tell the uncultured swine, Jin and Song too, that is Jin and Song are uncultured swine as well, I wish them no them no trouble and only ask to wash my face. It is still dirty.

They nod, or someone nods, they do not all nod at the same time, that would be blasphemy but very endearing to my heart, or lack thereof, at the same time. I leave briefly to wash my face.

The wetness, cold, a biting cold, which I find unusual since this water has been roasting in the sun…oh…I know what it is. Often times, when dealing with very hot water, the body sometimes perceives it as cold because of some trigger within the nervous system. I am not a scientist otherwise I would have already discovered a weapon of mass destruction to destroy Ba Sing Se, in its entirety, from the air.

In this same line of logic the body may also feel cold so cold it feels hot. Hmm…that could be one way to…but then the…if only…no rice today thanks, I prefer noodles. I am talking to my stomach and my brain at the same time if it is believable. If not then I am calling and responding in my own mind since my stomach is my mind.

I wash and wash, my face; that is. Perhaps I could take a bath. I am sure everyone there would love to see me naked, the perverts. But, perhaps as a joke to unsettle people, I should walk around the market tomorrow in nothing but my boots. I am not worried about rape, in fact I encourage rapists to find me in that state. I have a very special, warm present for them…

But no, sadly I will not streak in the middle of the streets. I am not sure why I am sad…I think because my face will dirty more from the stale air mixing with my body that desperately needs a bath. I do not know if I smell or not and I care not to know. End of discussion.

But no, this is not the end of this fireside chat, as I like to call my mental procession - a constant fireside chat with myself, except I am in the fire and my mind likes to hold me still. I am brutal, I realize, even to myself…I feel like jumping for joy. But I shall not. I'm never happy.

I ask Song and Jin if we can leave this hospital sensing the obvious discomfort the staff and patients feel around me. Apparently they recognize me as Princess Azula, but I am not Princess Azula, I am not Azula, I do not have a name, I am unnameable…but for the purposes of humans' great desire to fit things into neat little boxes, which are quite comfortable the last time I checked, call me Azula. Now. Did you call me Azula? Say it aloud. Don't worry, any people around you will not look at you weird, they don't exist. Did you say my name? Yes? Very good. I applaud you with the sound of one hand clapping.

Song wishes to stay at the hospital so she can work, make money, and live the falsity of life that every other unaware and dim soul follows. Jin proposes that she and I acquire food, since it is lunchtime – or is it dinner, no it is dinnertime; it is dark outside. But then again it could be day or night, either way the world still has the same frozen appearance.

Song agrees and I nod with satisfaction internally. Time with Jin alone…this is wonderful. Let the molding begin, I believe this was the term a great puppeteer from the Fire Nation said hundreds of years ago. That person was one of my idols and perhaps still is, I remember long days back when I was insane as a girl and I thought rationally, and I remember studying this man's ways of manipulation. He had published a guidebook that the Royal Library had a copy and kept it as one of its sacred treasures.

Jin chooses a restaurant that is neither upscale nor dirt cheap. Modest. I suppose that suits me but I wonder if she has money. Probably not much but then again when was the last time money provided good for the world instead of creating greed and the definitions of rich and poor?

I on the other hand, live the modest life like Jin does, although I control it much more, and the only difference, the key difference between me the leader of the tiger-wolf pack and her the koala-sheep, is that I have a ton more money than she does right now. On my person. Not at what once I called home, misnomer as it is, but with me.

We enter the restaurant, and I find it is a tea house mixed with main dishes…somewhat similar to a bar where there is alcohol and food. We are seated by a waiter who has several welts on his face, disgusting thing, get it away! Good, it leaves after we place our orders.

Two cups of Jasmine tea. It is uncle's favorite. Don't ask.

Jin asks me what I was doing forest.

Dying, I reply.

She perks up, oh, I didn't know you wanted to go to Ba Sing Se too! That is where Song and I want to go.

Perhaps, you are confused at these turn of events, or frustrated. I am feeling both too, but I have the answer for myself…I am speaking in what I shall identify as double-speak. I remember one famous use for this term, regarding limiting the vocabulary of people…I agree with this philosophy. Words are nothing but air, a famous Fire Nation poet said many centuries ago, and I add that words are nothing but hot air and they are quite flammable. Zuko knows what I am talking about and he knows it well.

However nice and oppressing, which aesthetically pleases me, this is not the way I shall use the term double-speak. Double-speak for me is literally a double-speech. I will say my true intentions, but what the other, which could be anyone, anything, any person, me, it, the Avatar, the other than the other, hears is completely different. I am still discovering this form of subconsciously veiled speech…I am getting wordy…let me simplify this – I will say things that others will perceive in a completely different fashion.

I ask Jin why Song and her are traveling to Ba Sing Se.

Oh, she responds, we wanted to see the speeches the Avatar and the new Fire Lord will make after they sign another peace treaty and have a meeting. Also there is an Earth Rumble tournament coming up with the Avatar's earthbending master as its host. Why do you want to go there?

To take back what is rightfully mine. My dignity that is…

Hmm, so you're looking for someone then? Well maybe we can help you? I grew up in Ba Sing Se, so maybe I know this person.

You cannot think, I tell her, because you are a slave, my slave, or soon you will be my slave. You do not know people, people do not exist. All friendly gestures and acts of kindness you've ever experienced in life are lies. All lies! No one loves you! They just want to sleep with you! People have tried, are trying, and will never stop trying to manipulate your pathetic excuse for a mind. All you are good for is your body…perhaps prostitution will be a wonderful occupation for you. The only difference between other people and me is that I will win you over, and you will be a prostitute, my personal prostitute, my personal slave…

Um…she speaks…what are you talking about? You said something about slave…I'm sorry but sometimes I get worried around you. I'm really sorry.

You hurt my feelings…but apology accepted. Although, you want to be more aware of how people look at you. You're a very pretty girl Jin. I just don't want you to get hurt.

She is touched. Good…Bad…Irrelevant. Thank you Azula, she says, that's nice of you to say, I think.

Oh so she thinks – the apocalypse is happening now isn't it?

Well, Song and I are looking for this boy named Lee actually. Song and I met at another teashop in this city a little while ago, and we both became fast friends. Then once we found out we both knew Lee, we decided to travel together.

Oh you mean my brother, Fire Lord Zuko.

You have a brother, She asks.

Yes, he is most likely trying to assassinate me as we speak.

Oh I'm sorry, she responds, her face sad, I didn't know he passed away…

No, I say, that was my cousin. My brother is alive, but our relationship is…strained.

We are served our dinner. I do not remember ordering anything, oh well, perhaps I performed double-speak on myself. Lying to oneself is not a bad thing if it keeps one sane. And by sane I mean irrational and unable to comprehend things correctly.

As an example, I am positive Jin cannot comprehend that I have already begun my slow, arduous, but ultimately gratifying art of seduction at this point. I would like to argue that any person or animal can be bisexual in some form or another. Let me make an…I _said_ let me make an example! Apples are to women as bananas are to men. Both fruits can be enjoyed equally, and both fruits are a form of knowledge…

I admit the banana analogy is horrible but I ask for your patience and forgiveness. Pssh! I do not ask for forgiveness. I just spoke double-speak.

Jin eats her dinner heartily and quickly while I pick at mine. I do not have a large stomach. My father would force me to fast for weeks on end while relentlessly teaching me firebending. I have never eaten a large meal, and I have no gluttonous desire to do so.

Jin perks up, and then looks a little sad. Embarrassed. I justify my sentence – it is a wonderful thing and it is perfectly healthy. If anything you can look on the more positive aspects of having a huge appetite. If you get heavier then your bust will increase and you will have a bigger sex appeal than you do already.

She is embarrassed in a different way and I sense I flattered her to no end. Jin is shy, modest, I deduce. I notice the way she looks at me now. She is wondering who I am, and I feel she wants to know more about me. This is good because this gives me an excuse to stare at her chest, and her sickeningly innocent face, her quickly done braids – all a ruse in reality. I simply look at her with flirtatious eyes simply because I will implant my fake interest of her into her thick skull.

She asks me if I know my parents.

I say no, not really. I know my parents, but my mother left when I was young and my father was an abusive person. My brother would treat my badly and my father would not only enforce it but help…

Jin gasps, that's horrible. I'm so sorry…

Shut up with your irrelevant chatter!

Lee is…well I don't know a whole lot about him. He was traveling with his uncle Mushi. He told me they were part of a traveling circus and that he could juggle. He was horrible, but it was still cute. We went out on a date, and it was going really well until he stopped and said: it's complicated.

I nod. Yes, maybe he is not all he seems. For all you know he could have been a refugee in disguise.

Well, thank you very much Azula. You're really nice. I know this sounds cheesy but not a lot of people have said I am a beautiful person on the inside and it means a lot to me to hear you say that.

You're welcome, whore!

So do you want to head back to the Bei Fong Estate? Jin asks.

Are you inviting me to join you in brutally murdering Song, because if that is the case then I would love to…

Why don't you want to go back yet?

I act a little shy, I don't think Song likes me.

Jin laughs a little, her hand covers her mouth, no…why would she? You've been nothing but nice to us. At first we thought a little differently, but we both like you for who you are. Actually, I think Song wants to help you and be your friend more than I do – err, no offense or anything.

Song must die. The healer, all healers, must die. They'll ruin everything. They alone are the Untouchables in this world, they do not belong but they complete a fundamental job that no one else in their right mind would accomplish. They are the outcasts in society that no on wants or likes but cannot live without them. Well if the world does not want to live, and it does not, then healers are blasphemous heathens to the world's otherworldly plans. Healers are the bane of all life on the planet and the planet itself. This is why they must perish.

Jin frowns a little and gives me a worried look: I hope your leg is fine like you say. It would be a shame if you had to limp permanently.

I shrug the comment off. I tell her to stop worrying and that I will be fine in a few days. But I also give her a small smile and let her know very well that I like her care about me and my condition.

She thanks me but I notice she is shaking, nervous, I suppose. It delights me to know she is nervous, almost as if she were on a date for the first time, and I am her suitor, lovely, this is good, things are progressing well and efficiently. This is good. The Second, or is it the Third now, Second, Third, whatever, _something_ is coming and I'll be ready. Excuse me for a moment; I must clarify this information…

Take your time.

Okay…I'm back now. Thank you again.

You are very welcome. It was…

Um, are you talking to yourself? Jin ponders.

I shake my head. You must be hearing things. I didn't say anything. But at the same time it is nice to see your special awareness of everything, this is a wonderful skill in battle should you ever have to fight something or someone.

Jin blinks…Thank you?

You are welcome, I say, but perhaps we should get back soon? I take a quick look at a nearby window behind Jin's mess of hair, untamed wilds I think, and notice the sun is beginning to set. Although I see the sun, I feel the heat in my veins recede slightly, a firebender's intuition, and I rise and fall with the son, therefore if the sun sets, I shall know no matter where my location is, whether I have direct sight of the burning ball in the sky, or not…it is irrelevant, I am at one with the sun. I cannot wait to meet the sun when I make my trek to the Spirit World.

I remind Jin that the time is near sunset.

Jin looks bewildered and looks around sharply for windows, making a scene…

Idiot.

She blinks at me again, but…but..it is still light outside.

Sometimes I wonder if this mental misfit is the long lost Earth twin of Ty Lee and it makes me want to forego my security plan and slay the simpleton slowly and in cold blood. Ty Lee too while I am at it. All that wretch of an acrobat has given me is a headache and the urge to kill. Guilt trips aside of course…I swear and no one believes me but Ty Lee is as emotionally conniving as I am, and that gives me a grudging respect but all the more reason to send her home to her loser parents in pieces.

Back to impotent Jin…did I say…yes why am I asking myself when I know the answer?

Yes, it is nearing sunset. Perhaps we should leave this restaurant and take a walk. I am not sure about you but I am not ready to go back to Lao Bei Fong's estate.

Jin nods her head not indecisive but not decisive either, I am not sure what word I am looking for, maybe it is…no…or, no…we pay the bill, or that is I pay the bill and Jin's eyes widen at my stack of riches.

Jin wonders where I acquired such stacks of gold pieces, at least twenty but not perhaps more than thirty, and forty silver pieces…and I think to myself, what a won…NO! I am not sure where I acquired this level of wealth, enough metal to purchase rickshaw and two years worth of up to three indentured servants, or six slaves…I think I prefer the slaves though. Maybe Jin will accept an offer of indentured servitude. That would make me very happy, perhaps the first happiness in my life…perhaps that is a very idea.

I am off to find Ty lee I tell myself, I do not remember how I was released from prison, and I do not remember this money, I was penniless when I met Jin and Song…I will wait and listen and perhaps an answer will come to me like water once disturbed, the answer will flow back. Or I will just look like a complete moron standing next to a river for the rest of my life.

We walk the streets, they are very clean and this discomforts me.

I look at Jin and she returns her gaze, she is in a lazy daze of bliss, and I feel now is the time to swoop. I smile at her and say I had a wonderful time and wish to do this again. She smiles and nods, saying that I am a good person.

I cringe on the inside but I nonchalantly slip my hand into hers, it is dainty, weak, unruffled by the daily harshness of the world, perfect for molding, burning, cutting, deforming, controlling…this is very sexy.

She seems surprised at first but lets this go, perhaps she feels this is a friendly gesture, but since I have been nothing but nice, cordial, a darling to her I believe she is ready for step two. But not yet, I must wait until she is comfortable…three, two, one, she is comfortable. I fake hesitation as I endearingly, or so she thinks, let go of her hand and wrap my arm around her waist.

She smiles at me, My my, aren't we assertive?

I give her a look of innocence, What?

She giggles and wraps her arm around me too, That's okay. I like it.

I smile, and I gaze at her sideways in a flirtatious manner, I'm sure you do…but I wonder, how does a wonderful little creature like you, with your dashing looks and subtle but pretty face, latch onto a lowly peasant like me?

Like this, and she gives me a quick peck on the cheek. I use my firebending to maximize my blood flow within my system, and concentrate on my face – perfect, a fake blush rises within my face, and I shyly say: I see. A gift well received must be well returned. Let us go to an inn or something like that. I'm suddenly not so interested in walking anymore.

She laughs at that, gives me another quick kiss, and says sure in a very sultry voice. I can tell she is hot and bothered…what can I say? I believe I had mentioned this before, or at some point, or ever, perhaps never before, no, sometime before – I am a people person. And today I have conquered one more. I estimate within four days, given Song is absent, abandoned in our wake, or dead – I have high hopes with this one – in four days I will have Jin running me around in a rickshaw as my willful slave. Voluntary slavery, as redundant as it sounds, is sometimes the best kind. This is a complex topic with some information necessary, but since I assume only I am aware of such master-slave relationships, that is not to say you are not now aware either, I shall not explain this concept. Instead I look forward, something I have never done, to either wild sex with Jin or extreme flirting. Either case is a benefactor and seals me with a mate when the Homosexual Revolution takes place in three weeks.

Three weeks, yes, maybe four, perhaps one instead, or never, no, not never, never say never, they would say, never not never, the Revolution will occur much like a rapture or some other mystical apocalyptic event with no physical or scientific evidence whatsoever. This particular Revolution will, however, have physical evidence – me. I will start it, and Jin is the perfect tool to implement this plan into motion.

We arrive at an inn, a dingy, yet isolated inn. I pay a hefty sum, wish no disturbances between us, and Jin and I enter the bedroom.

After much awe over each other's nude bodies, licking, hair-playing, rubbing, and all of the other activities involved with mindless sex and purely physical relationships, Jin is exhausted but very content. I feel emptier inside, but that I see as a good thing – so we are both content. Jin kisses me on the lips, tongues intertwined, and says afterwards, I love you Azula. I have never felt this way about someone like this before.

Although I criticize young love, reckless love, cheesy love on the physical level because it is unrealistic, sappy, bad, unhealthy, and such this is exempt from those qualities about stupid romance novels, plays, and such. This is the art of seduction in its purest forms and I am the Grandmaster. Jin is around my finger – perhaps literally…

Jin and I, slightly disheveled, but in better spirits, walk back to the Bei-Fong estate to find an exhausted but also very content Song. My mind briefly implants the thoughts of intercourse and Song's current disposition but I find it impossible and therefore shove the thought away to some unknown but always reachable storage facility in my mind.

Song tells me she is exhausted from work, having fixed thirteen patients in the span of three hours, apparently our time out, and she could never be happier. Jin is happy for her and I am sickened. Not because Jin has switched her attention to Song, or that…no…because that heretical whore prevented the passing, the way, the natural flow, of death from thirteen people. She must understand that humans cannot play and control the way, otherwise everyone will be like me and I must slay them all for no one can be like me.

She does not understand this because she is simply stupid. There was a wise saying, and I say was because I will refute the wisdom of it, and it goes as such: Those who know say nothing and those who know nothing speak of their knowledge. In other words, to be a perfectly good little puppet you must either be mute or an idiot. This is an Earth Kingdom philosophy that supposedly fits everyone – except me that is.

This is where the phrase fails in its wisdom. I am not included. I am not included because I know things, I say these things aloud, and I still know these things afterwards. I am the same perfect self. To quote a Fire Nation philosopher long dead, I will add my own phrase to refute this Earth-Swine logic: I think, therefore I will die. This is the truth, and I know it is true because I have logically sounded this out before. To think means one has a conscious, therefore they are alive, if they are alive, they must die at some point, and in conclusion, I think therefore I will die.

Since I have said this phrase and I have passed on knowledge I, according to the Earth phrase, know nothing, and this is impossible because I know something – I just said what I know. I am in between this dichotomy of mental stupidity versus physical impotence.

Pain! I cringe a bit. My leg is in pain…I breathe a little shallow, it is blinding, I am going blind I think, I cannot see, I am

I awaken. Jin is by my bedside, concerned, and lovingly stroking my stomach, thighs, perhaps my breasts, I cannot see yet. I open my eyes. We have moved…I close them again.

I open them again, my eyes I mean to say, and Jin is sleeping next to me. I find now to be the perfect time for more seduction.

Or not…I am sleepy. I wonder why I am sleepy, I suppose I cannot work my ways with the puppet formerly known as Jin with the concept of that heretic looming over my head. A knife in her hands…she knows


	3. Three

I have a story to tell for those who question me, myself, and my sanity which in turn is myself, and myself is me…There once was a young maiden of the Fire nation, the ancient Fire Nation, and she was one of the most beautiful people in the lands. She was perfect in every way, she grew up in a wonderful environment…

This girl went on a pilgrimage to discover what else was in the world for her mind to absorb since she excelled at all the teachings of the Sun Warriors and the newly founded national identity of the Fire Nation. She tried to find knowledge from all walks of people's lives, from courtesans, mercenaries, merchants, farmers and so on to the highest ranks of the nobility. What was she in search of? Wisdom, experience, and happiness would be the normal response but this girl was not normal, in fact she was looking for a good time and she wanted to see and gain wisdom from people I bed. This is an old tale and still makes its relevance in my culture today because one of our founding identifications of character is through passion, and one can learn a lot from people's passions, especially in their most vulnerable states such as in the bedroom.

The Fire Nation, despite its intense rigidity, is actually a hedonistic society where intercourse is not a perceived issue. Except for the stuffy nobility, but that is a different story. I never previously participated in such acts, but I can see and have taught myself well in the arts of seduction, and being able to care less what or who it is I am spending time with. It's in our culture.

I am almost certain Zuko is gay, that is why he is in a position of power. After all, my father before him threw aside his wife for the throne.

Zuko is very much straight, as am I. But I believe I am doing a wonderful job play-acting as a lesbian or at least a bisexual. I have certainly learned things so far. I have an idea. I believe I will write a play called _Earth Kingdom Girls Are Easy_ after this project; yes this frank analysis of the dead world around my decayed mind and soul is a project. It is not fun or anything along those lines, but this must be written down. This must be recorded, just as I remember a neutral voice in my head kindly reminding me: remember that you must die.

Things we do not want to hear or see do exist, and they must be acknowledged. This must be written down. I must remember that I will die and I cannot wait. Jin must acknowledge that she must die. Song must acknowledge that she will die tonight!

I look around. I see nothing but gray. Indistinguishable from my other surroundings, I admit to myself that this is what blindness must feel like. Why can I not see anything? I turn around, yes, I was facing a corner, and now I see gray, everything is dingy and gray as it should, but I see the heretic and Jin chatting in the last hours of light. They both are sitting on a bed, one singular bed although two are left unoccupied and in pristine condition, while the other bed strains in agony from Song's blasphemous rump and Jin's fatness in stupidity. I almost feel remorse, but I kid myself.

I sense the time will be nigh for the three of us to rest for the night. With this in mind I prepare my bed and my sheets. I lift my arm, sniff the pit, take a few strands of my hair, sniff them, and I do not smell – I conclude – although I believe I could care less if I ever wash myself again. I will be clean when I am dirty and dirty, as in the case of now, when I am clean.

I can feel my mind slipping now as it had previously. I search my pockets for a knife or poison, I find a knife, no poison, it is a shame, I much prefer poison, but I have a knife and this knife, dull and aged and decrepit, is the perfect one. I rest my head against the pillow. I close my

I wonder if in the capitol if the volcanic mountain erupted what the death toll would…

Katara that waterbender and her moronic brother need to be execute…

If that silly freak of nature blind girl finds me here…

Song must die a horrible death by my…

Jin is lovely when she lies like…

This bed is comfortable…

I hate comfort, it…

Fire Flakes…

Silence

I awaken. This is the seventh time I had awoken this evening. It is morning now, the sun is preparing its silent strike upon the moon, cursed moon spirit, and the sun will ambush the moon, seize the land, banish the moon, and prosper in its place until the moon returns, and wreaks divine retribution upon the sun. This is a vicious cycle that Zhao, bless his lack of a heart, nearly ended for everyone. Zhao was the ultimate utilitarian, and his martyrdom, I imagine, is still celebrated in my homeland…or so they think I belong there. I belong to nothing or no one but myself, and I cannot own myself just as Jin cannot own herself, mostly because she has the highest level of ignorance, worse than a child…

Song cannot own herself or any of the people she treats. Healing is rape. This is why our noble martyr sought to exterminate the barbarians of the North. To save mankind, or womankind as I should say, yes, Zhao was going to save them until my idiot brother and traitorous uncle caused the biggest sabotage of their lives upon this…prophet's noble attempts at saving the world by destroying it.

That wretch Katara must also be slain mercilessly in the moon-no, perhaps daylight. She must die. I must remember that I must die. I was given a letter that mentioned that once. It said Remember that you must die. I was perfectly okay with it.

My grandfather Azulon received that same letter, it was marked by some unknown name, no name actually, some unnameable, just as mine was, and I distinctly remember grandfather Azulon becoming a little more paranoid in his old age, his personal guard, a step closer. He heeded the message yet he still died. I accept the message, and I live. Hopefully that will change soon.

But nothing shall change yet, so I am told, s spirit has come to talk to me. I see it. It is in the form of a person from the water tribe, a woman with no face, I instantly like her, and I feel safe. She has a message, and while she has no mouth, no countenance, no disposition, I still understand. I nod my head and she walks alongside me, my lo-Jin, and Song. We are walking now, we are traveling to Ba Sing Se…

She, the spirit, that is, tells me, through nods and body language, oh how the weak and the disabled survive, I laugh at the irony. She talks to me, I listen well. She says that I am a moron who believes her own lies…no, nevermind, forget that, she is talking about Song, she is not talking about me she is referring to Song. She says Song must be slain, and I could not agree more, but I tell her I will do no such thing.

Blatant and unjustified slaying is not the honorable thing to do, I say to her.

She folds her arms angrily, sticks her non-face up and to the left, she pouts. I laugh because of her pathetic attempts to remain human. She is no different than I. A beautiful, honorable, and yet savage monster.

She is vengeful. I know of her story. She told me this story last night. I did not mention this…no, I did not write that down. Silly me. Well, there is no harm done. She is Ummi, and her once husband, Avatar Kuruk, was an arrogant bastard. Just my type of waterbender! An idiotic show off. I relish the fact that his wife's face was stolen by Koh to teach the mongrel a lesson that he still does not understand.

Koh truly is a sweetheart.

I am sure Ummi was once beautiful, but I find more beautiful now, without the face. If my mother lost her face I believe I would have a little more respect for her – not much in the slightest, but yes, more.

Azula…Jin says, frightened, Who is that next to you and why doesn't she have a face?

I look at Jin and Song, who is also frightened, with complete ease. I am perfectly calm. This is Ummi, I say, She is a spirit and her face was stolen by another spirit named Koh. Koh is notorious for stealing faces, as his appellation is The Face Stealer.

Apple-what?

I roll my eyes at Jin's stupidity, and like clockwork she is oblivious to it. His title, I say, An appellation is a title.

Ummi bows to the pair politely. Apparently those Arctic Manatee-Seals up North have manners. Who would have thought!

Song bows to the faceless spirit, We are honored to be in your presence.

I look at her with mild disgust.

But if I may ask, the rapist continues, Why are you here? Have you come to tell us a message?

Ummi nods.

Jin appears she will faint at a moment's notice. I am done with her, so it is no skin off of my back. Jin is too stupid to comprehend she's been tricked. There is no challenge involved. And if there is anything I want more than dying, it is a challenge. Preferably of the life-threatening nature.

Ummi makes a series of gestures with her hands, almost as if it is a hidden language. A language only known to the water tribes, I suppose. I imagine the barbarians would have a secret hand-based language with their inability at proper speech and war-mongering ways.

But somehow Ummi is different than the average Water Cur. She understands me, and I understand her. Even now I am translating her message even though Jin and Song are clueless of her warning.

Ummi points to Song, and I translate: Remember that you must die.

Ummi points to Jin and revolves through the same hand motions. Ummi points to me, and I say: Wait a moment. I understand that I must die. I welcome it. But…isn't this message more of for old people? You are talking to teenagers.

Ummi shrugs, and she motions, I suppose so. I am just a messenger for another spirit, she says to me, and I am relaying this message only for the sake of your benefit. I like you, Princess Azula, and I think you are a wonderful monster. This is why I chose you. You will live by knowing you will die.

My eyes narrow at her, hatred beginning to sink deep into the recesses of my non-existent soul, then I blink, and I shrug. Okay, I say, Thanks for the message I suppose.

Ummi nods, waves, and walks ahead, fading into the distance. Jin and Song are spooked. I nearly laugh with genuine mirth. Somehow the apocalypse will happen in a matter of moments, my sarcastic side tells myself.

So…Jin says…um, that was a little weird.

Yeah, Song replies, How can a spirit walk on the planet?

It's the solstice you ignorant piece of hog-monkey-

Solstice? Song asks me, What's so special about the solstice?

The solstice, I explain in an overly pedantic tone, is a time where the Spirit World bridges our realm, and spirits can walk amongst the living like you just saw.

Song is angry, You didn't have to call me an ignorant Cow-Pig! I mean…that's _so_ insulting!

Double–speak apparently has revolted against me. Perhaps it should be slain. Die. Like this Untouchable who is glaring at me with surprised hurt. Song is confused. Good.

I decide to be frank with them. This charade must cease.

I stop.

I look at them both. I relish at their bewilderment. I begin saying – I am travelling with you only for the sake of travelling with you. You must understand, everything will die. Everything must die. But before we must die, a new age will arrive. An age of over-population, an age where the planet is filled with us, our diseased carcasses, too tired and weak to truly deserve to live, we will infest all the corners of the world, and we will kill it with technology and thereby kill ourselves with technology. So, I am an agent amongst the spirits, guided by their will, to kill everything – before they die.

And that means that you – Song – your kind, healers, you are rapists, scum, swine! You spread your filthy, heretical "art" of healing as a false deity, a false sense of security and hope for those who deserve hopelessness. Your kind is called The Untouchables amongst the spirits. You are given the filthiest of duties, and therefore because your kind is so repulsive, we do not consider you human. Song, you are the disease that is killing mankind! And therefore, you must die! Your treacherous ways must cease so the world can finally rest in death!

And _you_, I say to Jin, you're just a moron who's too naïve to understand when she has been completely seduced.

They stare at me, shocked. Song is scared. Tears threaten to fall from her sockets, and although I am sure most of the uninitiated will consider her a strong person, that is rubbish by the way, Song at this point is very much afraid for her life.

Jin is equally scared, however she is hollow now, her mind wrapping inwards on itself. Apparently I messed up her mind more than I imagined. I cannot say I care, but nonetheless I find this aspect interesting.

You…You're…Song asks…You're not going to kill me are you?

I sigh only because I can see that Song is acting, and quite horribly at that, to get me to lower my defenses and then strike. Jin is too stunned and immobile to do anything useful.

I shrug, Unless you want me to kill you. It sounds like you're asking for your own death after all.

She begs for her life. I will not buy into this. Stop attempting to act, I tell Song, it's pathetic. I know what you are trying to do Song, I say, It will not work. You may as well fight me now.

Why fight? She says - I do not fight. I only heal.

Ah, I argue, But to me that is fighting. You are trying to maintain a sense of balance in an uneven world, an unbalanced world. Your goals, your occupation, your life is a lie. The only true balance in this world is when everything is equally dead.

You are way too obsessed with death for your own good, she tells me.

I shrug nonchalantly, again, That is in the eye of the beholder. I see myself as trying to set the world on its intended path. It really is a form of enlightenment if you think about it.

Song stares at me evenly, her horrible acting subsided. She gives me a confused look, feeling that I will not kill her, and I see she is still trying to understand my logic. I tell her she can try to understand my logic all she wants, I sincerely doubt she will be able to follow it, and I tell her to regard Ummi's words: Remember that you must die.

So…that means I will die at some point in the future…and not necessarily now?

I nod, but reply, Yes. However, if you continue your disgusting ways of bringing imbalance to the world, I shall have to smite you in the name of balance.

You're not the Avatar, Jin says to me.

I am not, I agree, but even the Avatar will eventually understand my logic. I am on my way to convince the Avatar and my brother that they must stop their peace talks and let the world be as it is. There is no intervention necessary. A wise one once said to forget the evil that you have committed and instead focus on the future good you intend to commit. Good in this case being allowing yourself to perish when the time has come.

Your brother? Jin asks. I see that Song and Jin are slowly starting to accept my messages, and this is pleasing. She continues with curiosity, Who is your brother?

For the first time in my life, I believe I can maintain that false sense of security others call trust with these two girls. I decide that truth is harmless in this situation. My brother is Fire Lord Zuko.

I did not realize I was speaking to royalty, Jin says with what I suspect is sarcasm. This is a new turn of events, boring, but new.

I go on…on what…it is irrelevant. I am walking, I feel glad from this nice respite of thought, from thought, I merely react, my mind is fairly occupied – such bliss! But, as everything must die, so must my peace and happiness. What good did peace ever do to the world anyway? It is impossible to achieve, and if we ever do achieve peace then we are doing nothing but stalling until the next world war breaks out, ravages the lands, kills innocent people – my personal favorite part – rape, pillaging, destruction, _this_ is the way of life. On the road to the not-life.

A road, I am on a road now. Jin and Song tag behind, or so I presume they follow me. I do not look behind me, for there is no need to watch my back, no need to see my past creep towards me, silently, stealthily, it's hot-cold, stale breath caressing my ear, causing me to shiver, and it whispers _hello, are you ready?_

I notice that my thought process is more lucid, more machinated, more organized, something is wrong, _this is not good!_ I am beginning to panic, I know I do not normally panic, but this is serious. My life is at stake. It is not my time yet, not my time, my time shall be soon, but not now, I have more people to convince that death is the key and answer to all things, death before the rebirth, I have a mission that must not be altered. My destiny, my destiny…what is my destiny? I must destroy everything; that is my destiny. I am a destroyer, like my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather before me.

My destiny is to destroy, like my lineage, spread disease to others so that the disease that is the human race can be quarantined, quantified, measured, and therefore exterminated. My father and I must colonize foreign lands and foreign minds so that we will establish the greatness of our nation and assimilate the heathens into our grand and omnipotent culture. This is a flaw, I am reciting what I was taught as a child, if I was to be taught anything as a viral being that I am, sucking life out of others with the greatest of joys.

The truth, if truth and falsity actually exists, is that the heathens are all of us. My culture is no greater than any other - other than the wonderful art of incineration. No, we heretics, we heathens, that is, all, not just healers, although they are more evil than most, the others, they, them, no, not them, they, the others, myself, not the others, the heretics – ALL – we are all evil in some way, shape, or form. Good is an illusion.

Good does not exist, it is a social construction. Good is the antithesis, according to scholars and theologians – what a joke – there is no good, only evil, but evil is on varying levels. Good is simply described as good, there is not a variation because all people praise good. Evil, on the other hand is in several layers with several reactions of the human psyche, and thus evil exists and good is illusory. This is similar to the up-cropping argument within the Fire Nation that there is an all-powerful spirit that is omnipresent and it exists, but we have no idea what it looks like, what its name is, what it does, or what its background information entails versus the spirit world and the natural way of life. There is no verifiable evidence of such a ludicrous spirit existing, and yet people still believe it. People cannot prove its existence or non-existence.

Thus good is in a similar scenario, whereas evil can be collectively determined as evil and the level of vileness involved in the act, person, event – people love to blame

I see Jin and…what was her name…they are dead. Am I dead? No, not yet, everything is slowly dying – I think. I see the ground cracking.

Smoke, I am in woods once again, next to a road, the trees wilt. They blacken slowly. The sky fills around me, dark, grey, I cannot see the sun anymore, but that is no matter

Ruptures in the ground…earthbenders? No, lava seeps to its surfaces

The lava dries, cools, rises, cools, the earth melts, back into lava, which cools…I see the sea nearby. The sea recedes, I see beached aquatic life, struggling, gasping for water… Birds are falling out of the sky, smoke fills the air…

Clouds are forming, they are becoming violent, lightning ripples across the sky, across the ground, like rushing hoards of raiders, pillaging and burning all that is considered by everyone else but me as sacred

Volcanoes in the distance are erupting, collapsing, exploding in an almost sexual nature…

The moon is dead, it has flown off to spirits' know where, the sun is blackening

I look around.

Pyroclastic sandstorms sweep across the disintegrating sea, life is no more, the earth is no more, I notice around me, all that is left is darkness. Me…

Nothing. Darkness and I

I will soon to be nothing as well. I can feel it

This is heaven-

Ah, bliss


End file.
